There’s a lot to miss about the world before lockdowns. High on this list is the ability to PARTY with other people – to catch up, laugh, and get lost in conversation. And while technically speaking, talking and laughing are possible on a traditional video conference call,  why doesn’t it feel the same? In order to understand why video conference parties don’t work, we first need to understand what does. 

What does behavioural science tell us about great parties?

According to people behaviour researcher Vanessa Van Edwards, throwing a perfect and memorable party (virtual or in real life) requires careful planning around 3 key steps. 

• Step 1: The first 5 minutes.
• Step 2: The high (or low).
• Step 3: Saying goodbye, and the recency effect.

As a team devoted to getting people together for fun, games and celebrations, we at Amble Studio have been working hard to figure out how to take Van Edwards’ science and translate this party genius into an online space.

Step 1: The first 5 minutes.

It’s all about first impressions. When arriving at a party in “real life”, there is an initial sense of thrill and anticipation (or anxiety). As a partygoer enters an event, they make quick evaluations: Where are the people I know? Where should I go? What do I do first?

This is the major failing of the usual online party experience. Video conference software generally presents a few difficulties in these first 5 minutes. It is part of the reason why it  feels so different to the real thing.

‘Where are the people I know?’  
Immediately upon arrival guests are bombarded with a screen full of, well, everyone. It’s like rocking up to a party, knocking on the door and then standing in front of a crowd. #Awkward… Behind the door familiar faces peer back, but so do the faces of complete strangers. In this virtual world all the familiar people are there on one screen, which is great… but so are all the people you don’t know or don’t want to talk to. This makes it super difficult for a person to find their comfort zone. The whole gathering is one mixed bag of literally everyone. 

‘Where should I go?’ 
In most video conference software, there isn’t really anywhere to go. You just log in and sit there. Maybe if you’re lucky you can turn off your video to multitask, but otherwise you’re stuck. In real life you can pop over to the bar for a drink, dash to the loo, enter a new room or a new conversation. 

Break out rooms are not much better, there’s still that feeling of being stuck. Smaller groups of people, but still nowhere to go. Nowhere to explore.

‘Stuck’ is not how we want our guests to feel.

‘What do I do first?’ 
At an in-person party, this question is easily solved by grabbing a bite to eat, a drink, or zeroing in on your friends. Just the act of holding something in your hand at a party does wonders for feeling included and comfortable. At a digital party, this is tricky. There is no shared food table for people to gravitate to. ‘What to do’, much like ‘where to go’, is tied to agency and mobility. 

You want options, and on video call there tends to be just one; sit and stare.

Creating agency and freedom in an online party.

What if you could create a fun, silly or stylish avatar (a digital character to represent you), and walk around a space of your own free will, find friends and start conversations in a gameful way that’s similar to real life? Platforms like Gather and others have been created to go beyond simple video conferencing, and do just that. 

While they can present other challenges – much like any real-life gathering- if they are designed in a way that carefully considers the science of great parties, they offer an experience completely different to what you get on a standard video chat ‘party’.

‘Gather’ gives your guests the ability to mingle, converse, and have choices, online.

Addressing the perfect entrance experience – online.

Virtual party platforms like Gather allow people to enter the space at their own pace. You can adjust the entrance experience to welcome arriving guests, include tutorials or extra info that helps to orient them during the event, or even provide the ability to ‘dress-up’ your avatar – including a unique party hat! 

As the space designer you get to curate where, when and how people arrive, and the overall entrance experience. And while you can’t hand everyone a drink as they arrive (also impossible at some parties in real life), you can ensure they have a moment to survey and explore the party, without feeling overwhelmed by a screen full of faces. 

Partygoers can find the people they want to see, orient themselves and feel more comfortable at your event.

The antidote to the lousy, party-killing, stuck and dreading feeling you get entering video calls is agency and mobility. From where and how guests enter the main space, to how they are greeted as they arrive, you need to provide your guests with options to enter the party atmosphere on their own terms. Which brings us to…

Step 2: The high (or low).

Every gathering needs a main event. No matter how “professional,” “interesting” or “cool” the people are, three hours of standing around talking gets old, fast. If you don’t plan for a ‘high’, your whole event is bound to be pretty forgettable. 

But fret not, these highs don’t have to be huge! They can be a pivot in pace, a recognisable ritual, a sneaky surprise or a memorable moment. Anything that captures attention can help to shift gear. When you’re in person, Van Edwards suggests it can be as simple as pulling out a favourite activity, a toast, a dance to the latest tune, or sharing a new game (we love sharing our just-for-fun games like Office Heroes or Umberdred’s).

This is where most video call parties focus. You can host all kinds of games and experiences to create a memorable heart for your event. But to really enjoy it, everyone has to agree to and want to do the thing. Having a virtual bartender is only fun if everyone there wants to make their own cocktails. 

If you can surprise and delight your guests, you’re on to a winner.

If you’re designing a celebration in an alternate video conference platform like Gather, (which is what the Amble team uses to design our celebrations), just the ability to be able to choose whether to wander, talk or play a game, creates delight.

The possibilities are endless! You could create a scavenger hunt, gather together for a special toast, or set a time to play games (naturally, letting people pick what to play and who to play with). The most exciting part is the possibility for a range of activities to be run simultaneously in the one space, to suit every taste, just like hosting an awesome party in real life.

Step 3: Saying goodbye and the recency effect.

It is a known psychological phenomenon that people tend to remember the last item in a sequence. The last moment before we leave a party becomes a strong memory for that party overall. Awkward goodbyes can leave us feeling icky after the party is over, and that’s definitely not the note we want to end on.

That’s another tricky thing about video conference parties, there isn’t always a graceful way to bow out. Trying to wait for a break in conversation to speak up, waving, or sending a message in chat before slinking away unnoticed doesn’t leave you feeling great.

Van Edwards recommends having a clear schedule which assumes and allows people leaving at a range of times. 

What activities are planned throughout the gathering? 
Is everyone clear on when these begin and end? 

The ending of set activities makes for smooth and comfortable exits. As you pass from one element of the party to another, it gives partygoers a chance to say things like, “well, I’m all gamed-out. I’ll head off now. See you later!” All this takes, is a little planning beforehand. 

Translating this online takes more direct communication. If you are on a call you might offer space for people to bow out as you shift between activities (if you have more than one planned) – “I know some of you might need to log off about this time, so I’ll give you a chance to say goodbye before we start the next game”. If you’re having an event in Gather, like in real-life, make sure you communicate phases of the party clearly. Ensure everyone knows who the hosts are and invite them to reach out via the chat or come find them before leaving.

Ensure your guests can leave feeling acknowledged, appreciated, and at ease.

That’s it! Now you know the 3 things to plan for when you throw a party and how to translate these online. Go forth, and celebrate!

🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

And online, as in real life: hire an expert if you want a great party but don’t want to think too hard!! 

That’s why we created Mingle; a customised digital party solution with all the ambience, delight and agency your guests are longing for.

Click here to learn more about Mingle and book a tour of our virtual venue!

Amble Studio has partnered with TogetherApart to help you see out 2021 in style. Engage our expertise in curating fun, thoughtful and gameful experiences so you can sit back and enjoy the festivities. 

We’d love to help you surprise and delight your group, even if you need to be regretfully remote this season 😉

So get in touch!

In partnership with

We’re partnering with virtual event specialists Together Apart to bring you something truly special.

This article was written on Wurundjeri land. Amble Studio pays respect to Elders past, present and emerging and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.