It is widely agreed that humans need to work together in order to grow, learn and thrive. A group of people together can build faster and create more explosively than they can alone. We know these things, and yet many of us can find working with others difficult or uncomfortable. From here, it can feel like true collaboration is miles away. So how can we hone and spread these cooperative skills? The good news is, many of us have these skills and even use them perhaps without realising.

Before we continue, what specific skills are we talking about? What makes for good collaboration? Here are some from a study on successful teamwork at Edith Cowan University:

• Positive Interdependence: when members of a group share a common goal and agree that working together is individually and collectively beneficial to achieving success
• Promotive Interaction: communicating clearly and considerately, providing feedback that is constructive

You know one place where these skills are commonly used? Games! More specifically cooperative games. Cooperative games are those on the opposite end of the competitive spectrum to Monopoly. These games have all the players on the same team, striving for the same goal. I’m sure many of us have played at least one such game. Cast your mind back to childhood if you will…

Many of us have played ‘make believe’ (yes, make believe is a game, albeit one with hidden rules often made and remade in an instant). In make believe, we communicate, listen and problem-solve so quickly!

“I’m a knight on a big dark horse riding to the castle!”

“Well, I’m a goat!”

“Ok, would you like to come with me?”

“Yes, but there’s a dragon and I’m scared of dragons!”

“It’s ok! This dragon doesn’t like eating goats because of their pointy horns.”

“Oh yay! Maybe I can talk to the dragon while you go in the castle.”

“Good idea! I’ll make my horse sneak really quietly…”

In this paraphrased snippet of my own childhood (please guess if I was the goat or the knight), we can see the collaboration skills touched on above. Firstly, the knight and the goat know that together they can imagine an adventure that alone they might not. Plus, it’s more fun to play make believe with someone else! Secondly, the knight and the goat show clear communication about who they are, and the goat further communicated their fear and need to overcome it before they could continue. The knight listened, heard the fear and the deeper fear of being eaten (which was actually unspoken), and then gave feedback that included a solution. This particular scenario happened when I was perhaps 5-7 years old.

This is child’s play, literally! Kids playing make believe are excellent collaborators. Of course, it’s not always perfect, but they make it look so easy! Where are the adults at in comparison?

In the aforementioned study, the researchers analysed a ‘successful’ and a ‘dysfunctional’ team. What stood out was the impact that emotional intelligence had on team success. It was clear that the emotional intelligence of the team, more than their individual intelligence, impacted the functionality of the team and their final product.

“It would appear that emotional intelligence skills underpin collaboration and communication skills needed for managing conflict and keeping the team focused on developing the required product.” (Luca & Tarricone, 2001).

But emotional intelligence can be a hard skill to teach, and a hard skill to learn. It was never an option in any of my school classes! Fear not, play is one of the most powerful forms for developing understanding of other people’s thoughts and feelings, especially make believe. When there are no rules, and all we have is each other to guide us, make believe encourages us to really listen, consider the other’s perspective and work together. But make believe is just for kids right?

Wrong. Sometimes adults in the workplace do play make believe and call it ‘visioning’. This make believe is a little more structured, and has agreed upon rules and outcomes. Friends moving into a new house together play make believe when they imagine where all the furniture could go. We play make believe all the time without even realising. Playing make believe is not so far away.

The next step then, is to be conscious and deliberate when we play make believe. Notice when we are playing; are we communicating clearly? Are we listening? Are we considering other people’s points of view? Using make believe as a stage is a readily accessible way to build empathy, and in turn improve our collaboration skills. And then when we collaborate in projects, planning and working, we will come to the table better prepared.

“Play is one of the most powerful forms for developing understanding of other people’s thoughts and feelings.” (Joe Brumm, creator of Bluey).

There are other games too that encourage make believe with a little more structure. This structure can help us see if our make believe ‘worked’ and provides feedback in the form of a tangible outcome. These games can be called story-telling games or roleplaying games. I’ve written about one such story-telling game called Green Hollow here if you would like to know more.

So, to build our collaboration capability, we need to improve our emotional intelligence. And one way to do that is by playing make believe. The best part? It’s free, available at any time, and it’s fun! So go forth and make believe!

This article was written by Logan Timmins on Wurundjeri land. Amble Studio pays respect to Elders past, present and emerging and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.

To read more from Joe Brumm, creator of the widely popular children’s cartoon Bluey, click here.

All images free to use from Unsplash.com. Banner image by Sandra Seitamaa. First article image by Annie Spratt. Second article image by Charlein Garcia.